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Wrestling-Kommentatoren

Kommentatoren
Heenan-Zitate
Lawler-Zitate

Nr. Spruch
1Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!
2Auf die Frage von Jim Ross, warum Brian Christopher soviel Ähnlichkeit mit ihm hat: A long time ago, I got a vasectomy, and I paid for it with my MasterCard. Well, I forgot to pay the bill that month, so they sent someone over and they got my wife pregnant.
3I'd like to see things from your point of view, J.R., but I can't get my head up my rear end.
4Nachdem Austin Vince McMahon gedroht hat, ihm die Zähne rauszuschlagen: I don't think they are real anyway, but I don't think McMahon want's to lose them.
5Über den Road Dogg: When he was in Desert Storm, he was getting shot at by both sides.
6Über Sunny: When Sunny was in school she wasn't very good in history, but she was great on dates!
7Nachdem Jim Ross sagte, daß Sunny zu jung für Lawler sei: I'm not embarassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.
8Als ein fünfjähriges Mädchen zu sehen war, das Shawn Michaels zujubelte: Look at her, now I know why animals eat their young.
9Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.
10I'm not a racist like Brett Hart, I hate everyone equally!
11Nachdem Tazz verlangt hatte, daß Lawler ihm seine Sprüche ins Gesicht sagt: Tell him to come down and I will tell him how short his is to his face. If I can bend down that far.
12Is that Paul Bearer's face, or did his butt grow a nose?
13Paul bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
14Über Ahmed Johnson: He has the IQ of 2 and it takes 3 just to grunt.
15Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!
16Über die ECW Arena: This Bingo Hall should be built out of toilet paper because there's nothing in it but Shit.
17Über Allundra Blaze: She has a million dollar body, but a ten cent face!
18Hey Finkel, the last time I saw something like you, I flushed it!
19It's going to be a hair-raising experience. In your case McMahon, a toupee-raising experience.
20Über die Tatoos des Undertakers: OOOh, look at that face. That's Helen Hart's face there.
21I got in trouble because I stopped and told Helen Hart that her nylons are wrinkled......She wasn't wearing any.
22Helen's got nice teeth....for a beaver!!
23Auf die "Don't drink and drive"-Kampagne von Jake the Snake hin: The only reason why Jake "The Snake" Roberts doesn't drink & drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.
24Der Undertaker taumelte gerade im Ring: That looks like Jake "The Snake" on a Saturday night.
25Als sich Mankind mal wieder ein paar Haare ausriß: Look McMahon, there is some extra hair for your toupee.
26I heard a rumor that Ahmed Johnson needed a kidney transplant, and Jake "The Snake" was the donor!
27Hey McMahon, I just saw a movie this past week about Stu & Helen's kids: Twelve Monkeys!!!
28Zu Stu Harts 80. Geburtstag: I heard that everyone wanted to get the right amount of candles for the cake, but the fire marshall wouldn't let them.
29I was offered a job to write and draw a cartoon about the Hart family. I had a hard time trying to draw Helen Hart because I don't think anyone has invented a pen with enough ink to draw all the wrinkles on her face.
30Look at you. Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?
31Look at these two, look at her face! You see, it's girls like you that turn men into... well, you know, people like Goldust.
32Now that Razor Ramon's leg is hurt, he probably has to ride on a wheelchair. If his wheelchair ever stops moving because of rust, he can just use the grease from his hair to make it roll again.
33If Vader drops the Vader Bomb on Razor Ramon, a huge grease spot will be left on the ring.
34Hey McMahon, at the Bikini Beach Blast, if you decide to take a swim in the pool, your toupe might raise to the top and scare everyone away.
35That was the scariest thing I have ever seen, having to sit next to McMahon in the dark. You should have seen his toupe, it got up and started to crawl like a bug.
36Savio Vega is taking more shots than Jake "The Snake" does during happy hour.
37Hey Ross, I had a nightmare last night, Sunny was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
38I'm not saying that Stu Hart is old, but I hear that Anna Nicole Smith is asking him out on a date.
39Sunny sitzt neben McMahon: Watch your hands McMahon.
40Vince: And there is a look at Sable who gets more beautiful by the day. Lawler: Clean your glasses.
41Beavis & Butthead are doing America is like Jim Ross and James E. Cornette doing Sunday morning Superstars.
42I heard that scientist found evidence of prehistoric life on Mars and that Stu & Helen Hart are the founding parents.
43I heard that Stu & Helen Hart use to be nudists, until they got kicked out of the Garden of Eden.
44Zu McMahon: You and Goldust probably shop at the same place: Toupee's R' Us!
45Here comes "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Here is a guy who parks in handicap spaces.
46The Manhattan Center is where I first confronted Stu and Helen Hart. The couple that produced more tragedies than Shakespeare.
47Zur ECW: Why don't you bring your thugs & has-beens to the Manhattan Center, which is an arena and not a bingo hall where you guys wrestle in.
48The Honky Tonk Man called Paul Bearer about cremation for Col. Tom Parker. Paul Bearer said, "Do you want extra crispy, or original?"
49Über Stu Hart: Why don't you put your teeth in backwards and eat yourself.
50Über die Godwinns: If these guys brains were bacon, they would be sizzle-lean.
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